Burned

My youngest son, Zakarias Clarence had an accident today, September 17, 2018. He was with us at the burger store when he wandered around. He usually does it. Walking, running, eating stuff. But this day, I saw him walk towards our neighbor store that offers shakes and some banana cues and other cooked food. I was doing something else when I heard a cookware fell, then screams, then my son crying out loud.

I quickly went to see what happened and I saw Jonathan carrying my son and his foot was covered in cooking oil. Used. Still hot but not the boiling hot.

Then I heard my wife screaming while walking towards us. I told her to shut up and I will check for first aid.

I thought of going home with Zak to check what first aid to use. But I remembered there is a health center for our Barangay. I immediately ran to my motorcycle and sped to the Barangay Health Center with Zak. There were other riders honking on to help me with the traffic. Upon arriving to the health center, first aid was applied. Water and ice.

A few minutes passed by the doctor ordered that Zak be transfered to a hospital so the wounds can be cleaned and treated. We used the Barangay vehicle with sirens. Since I have a motorcycle, I went home, grabbed my IDs, my bag, helmet and headed to the hospital.

I saw my wife and Zak outside the E.R. because Zak is still crying due to the pain. After check up, we bought some medicines and all, headed home and let Zak sleep.

I wll never understand why accidents happen. But my guess is it teaches us. It gives us lessons that we will never learn elsewhere.

Zak is now on the road to recovery. He still cries about the pain and all the effects of this ordeal. But he is making progress.

For assistance, I found this link on the web for 2nd degree burns in children.

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My First Time

My First Time

Today is September 6, 2018. Around 12 noon, I was at Schola Angelicus delivering lunch for my daughter. Then I decided to take the Mamatid to Gulod exiting NIA Road to San Isidro to pick up my Grade 3 son from school.

It was a wet day. Been raining for almost half a day. I was driving carefully and slowly because of the condition of the road. There was an SUV ahead of me. The driver was slow. So I had to be slow too. Then a motorcycle passed and went in front of me.

I also have been coughing since I just recovered from flu. I felt the phlegm in my mouth, and I had to spit it out. I had an idea of stopping, taking my helmet off and spitting it out. BJutl no, l guess that was the mistake. I tried taking my helmet partially off my head then spit it out using my left hand. That was the plan.

Then, the motorcycle driver in front of me stopped. Which caused me to grab the brakes and the clutch. To make matters worst, since it was wet, I slid — good thing I was wearing a helmet.

I felt the asphalt road. My hands was acted upon impact. The bike became the shock absorber that received all the force. Which was good. The only pain I felt was on my right leg. I fell on my left side. The pictures shows small wounds on my leg. Small but painful reminder to always pray and be safe.

Thank God because someone also helped me get up from the road. Then he asked me if I was fine, to which I said yeah. Thanked him and check the damage or damages on my motorcycle. Good thing also that there were no other vehicles behind me or, in front. I was able to get to the side of the road and check myself and my ride.

Upon checking, I rode off and went to my son’s school and went home. Injured.

By the way, I didn’t swallow the phlegm, I was able to still spit it out.

To God be the glory.

What A Wonderful Life

I remember my Inay, or grandmother, before she passed. I sang her this song, and I couldn’t help but cry. Until now.

Close your eyes
And just hear me sing
One last long goodbye
One last song before you spread your wings

I was so distraught that day that I even cried while at the office. I had to work. But I don’t know why I was there knowing that I really cannot focus and my peers doesn’t seem to care.

There’s so much left to say
And before this moment slips away

I even yelled at my daughter because I cannot think straight. She just wants to eat at McDonald’s which was just in front of us. My wife decided to just take the kids home and let me be. I was so in pain. I couldn’t stop my tears.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

When that week ended, we went to Batangas for the wake. We remembered the good times we had with Inay. We remembered how she scolds us and teaches us and shows us her love.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

On the day of her burial, it was raining. I was one of the people who carried her coffin. Me and my brother. My family was back in the bus, because we don’t have an umbrella with us that day.

And soon you will be gone
But these words, they will live on

After we got her buried, we went home. I felt empty. Now, it will be seven years since she passed. 2011 has passed. I still feel the deep pain. Pain caused by death. It also gave birth to my first tattoo.

All that I am
You let me be
I will remember you
For all that you’ve done
And given to me

Love will remain
This I can see
Now and forever more
Because of you
Now I believe
I believe

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I loved you so

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I’ll miss you so

And though our days come to an end
No, I’ll never love like this again
What a wonderful life
A wonderful life
What a wonderful life
What a wonderful life

Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the past. Moving on means we have to continue living despite the pain and hurt and all those things. We move forward with these memories in us. We cherish it. We feel it. What a wonderful life.

Thank you Alter Bridge for this song.

Jesus At The Center

It’s rare that I write 2 succeeding blogs in 1 day, let alone 1 month. But after writing what I wrote earlier lambasting and ranting about age and leadership, I have now calmed down. Plus a shot of Korean wine and coffee helped. Not sure how but it gave me headache.

Seriously though, I led the Praise and Worship earlier today, January 28, 2018, and our last song was, guess it… Yes, JESUS AT THE CENTER by Israel & New Breed.

I was able to think clearly after 2 large cups of coffee and a shot of alcohol and it made me realized something. Is Jesus at my center?

Part of the song says:

Nothing else matters,

nothing in this world will do.

Jesus You’re the center,

and everything revolves around you.

While writing this blog, I am playing in constant repetition the 2 versions of the song.

Jesus be the center of my life,

Jesus be the center of my life

From beginning to the end

It will always be,

It’s always been You Jesus

I know I’ve made a mistake of taking things and turn it into one big mess but, I guess the good thing about it is, me – questioning my own faith and where it’s foundation is laid. I started checking my heart and praying to God to correct my feelings. I asked one Pastor to pray for me because, at the end of the day, I know it is my pride that is hurting more than anything. I just hope I am not too late.

From my heart to heavens

Jesus be the center,

It’s all about You,

Yes it’s all about You

I asked God for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me a servant’s heart. I asked God for help.

Jesus, be the center of my everything.

Surviving The Night

Thoughts of suicide creeps in. I had to stop listening to Linkin Park for the night because I am getting scared of the images flashing inside head. Scenes of where I am seated beside our double deck bed, where I am strangled. In between my 2 boys and my wife and daughter. 

No. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. I know the negative impact it will have on my family. The trauma it will cause my kids. The blame. The questions that will never be answered.

I also happen to know that heaven will not and will never accept suicides. There are things that I need answers that I can only ask God once I am in heaven.

So I sat, prayed. Surrendered every thoughts running in my head and decided to write it down. I also replaced the songs with worship songs to somehow, remind and enforce to me that God is still in control.

No. It will never happen because I am a child of God.