ballad of the fallen angel

the darkest nights of the soul

Why Suicide?

November 8, 2018.

Around 6am.

A young girl, aged 17 tried crossing the railway but she froze. She saw the light from the train. She heard the noise of that incoming train, yet she just stood there.

There were rumors about her mother passed away last 2017 and her grandmother passed away recently. Which is why her father came home from overseas. Her father asked her not to go to school and just spend the day with him, she refused. Rode a tricycle, paid their fare, and walk on… Thing is, she has her earphones on her, probably plays a little loud, did not realize that it will cause her her life.

Some said that it seemed as if she already thought about killing herself this day. I really don’t know. I tried checking her Instagram account but only has limited access. Rumors also surfaced that her deadline was until November 11, 2018.  Guess we never have to wait for that day.

I have been depressed before. I have thought of killing myself, not once. But all throughout those darkest moments, God intervened. He made me see what the repercussions will be, how it will greatly affect my kids, especially my daughter who has ADHD. How it will put a load of financial burden on my family.

I know how it feels to be alone and blame yourself. I know that killing yourself is the easiest way to escape the pain and all the tragedies that befall you. But how about the people you left behind? Those who will take care of the people you left? Your kids? Your parents? The people who have looked up to you? The betrayal that they will feel because of what you did will be too heavy for them. Then you have only passed on the pain and misery.

To those who are in emotional crisis and in need of immediate assistance, please contact the one of these:

24/7 HOPELINE at:

(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673)
2919 (toll-free number for all GLOBE and TM subscribers)

700 Club Asia

Please choose below the nature of your requests.  Their prayer team is eager to receive them and pray with you.

Metro Manila:                810-7717 or 810-7176
Toll-Free:                         1-800-1-888-8700 (outside Metro Manila)
Hong Kong:                     (852) 3114-5753
USA and Canada:          1-626-789-0435

In the Philippines, you may send a text message at these numbers:

Smart                                +63-920-222-8373

Globe                                +63-917-406-5001

Sun                                    +63-932-449-2499

[soulprojekt]

Smart        +63-919-845-8295

Globe         +63-917-358-4832

 

Suicide is never the answer. There are people who are willing to help, just let them know.

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Christians and Halloween – Part 2

I am now being torn apart between being kind and being right. But I know that I also have the responsibility to spread the truth and contradict and let other people know truth vs lies.

So I have researched and read things about Halloween and carefully weighs both sides of the spectrum: those who thinks it’s okay to celebrate it and those, like me, who is not okay with it.

Let’s look at some important things I have found from Bibleinfo.

The history of Halloween

The origin of Halloween as we know it, began over 1900 years ago in England, Ireland, and Northern France. It was a Celtic celebration of the new year, called Samhain /ˈsouən/ which occurred on November 1. The Celtic druids revered it as the biggest holiday of the year and emphasized that day as the time when the souls of the dead supposedly could mingle with the living. Bonfires (bone fires = human remains) were a large aspect of this holiday as well.

Samhain remained popular until St. Patrick and other Christian missionaries arrived in the area. As the population began to convert to Christianity the holiday began to lose its popularity. However, instead of eradicating pagan practices such as “Halloween” or Samhain, the church instead used these holidays with a Christian twist to bring paganism and Christianity together, making it easier for local populations to convert to the state religion.

Another tradition is the druidic belief that during the night of November 1, demons, witches, and evil spirits freely roamed the earth with joy to greet the arrival of “their season”—the long nights and early dark of the winter months. The demons had their fun with poor mortals that night, frightening, harming, and even playing all kinds of mean tricks on them. The only way, it seemed, for scared humans to escape the persecution of the demons was to offer them things they liked, especially fancy foods and sweets. Or, in order to escape the fury of these horrible creatures, a human could disguise himself as one of them and join in their roaming. In this way, they would recognize the human as a demon or witch and the human would not be bothered that night.

During the Roman empire, there was the custom of eating or giving away fruit, especially apples, on Halloween. It spread to neighboring countries; to Ireland and Scotland from Britain, and to the Slavic countries from Austria. It is probably based upon a celebration of the Roman goddess Pomona, to whom gardens and orchards were dedicated. Since the annual Feast of Pomona was held on November 1, the relics of that observance became part of our Halloween celebration, for instance, the familiar tradition of “dunking” for apples.

Today costumes take the place of disguises and candy has replaced fruits and other fancy foods as children go door-to-door trick-or-treating. Originally trick-or-treating began as “souling,” when children would go door-to-door on Halloween, with soul cakes, singing and saying prayers for the dead. Over the course of history Halloween’s visible practices have changed with the culture of the day, but the purpose of honoring the dead, veiled in fun and festivities, has remained the same.

Should Christians celebrate Halloween?

As a logical thinking person, consider for a moment what you are celebrating and what Halloween is all about. Is the holiday uplifting? Is Halloween pure? Is it lovely, praiseworthy, or of good report? Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Is Halloween based on godly themes such as the idea of peace, freedom and salvation or does the holiday bring to mind feelings of fear, oppression and bondage?

Additionally, does the Bible sanction witchcraft, witches, and sorcery? On the contrary, the Bible makes it clear that these practices are an abomination to the Lord. The Bible goes on to say in Leviticus 20:27 that anyone who practiced witchcraft, soothsaying, sorcery should be killed. Deuteronomy 18:9-13 adds, “When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you … one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.”

Is it wrong to celebrate Halloween?

Let’s look at what the Bible adds to this topic in Ephesians 5:11, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.” This text is calling us to not only have no association with any type of dark activity BUT ALSO to shed light on this topic to those around us. As stated earlier in this article, Halloween was not exposed by the church for what it was, but rather was incorporated into church holy days. Are Christians responding in the same way today?

As you think about Halloween—its origins and what it stands for—would it be best to spend time dwelling upon its themes or to shed light upon what lies below the surface of this holiday’s celebration. God is calling humanity to follow Him and to “come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17).

I have also watched Beth, who was a former witch talk about Christians celebrating Halloween. She mentioned that there are three important holidays from the satanic calendar:

  1. Christmas
  2. Easter
  3. Halloween

She also mentioned that Anton LaVey, founder of the church of satan, once said that he is “glad that Christian parents let their children worship the devil at least one night out of the year. Welcome to Halloween.” Beth also mentioned that witches curse those candies that are being given away to children. Beth said that Halloween is already evil and you cannot take away evil from Halloween. She begs Christians to STOP celebrating and participating in this demonic holiday because it doesn’t look right in the eyes of God who sent Jesus on the cross to die for our sins.

I have also checked a former Satanist talk about Christians celebrating Halloween – John Ramirez. John became a high priest in Palo Mayombe, a form of African Spiritualism. Ramirez, now a pastor, knows all about the dark reality of Halloween. He once sacrificed animals as part of satanic rituals and his friends even knew him as “Lucifer’s son.” Ramirez says that in his opinion the other events Christians hold instead of Halloween, such as “Trunk or Treat” nights, are really no different.  

John also said that Halloween isn’t just about candies and costumes – there’s a much darker side to it.  For more of John Ramirez’s story, read here.

There’s also the CBN News Facebook poll, 87% of believers feel that Christians should not celebrate Halloween, while 13% believe it’s okay.

Just to be clear, my personal stand on this matter is that WE SHOULD NOT CELEBRATE Halloween or even participate on this holiday. We should be educated and be informed about this. And if you have already participated, just come into the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness. Ask Him to cleanse you. To break the curse that you have put upon yourself by participating on this holiday.

Christians and Halloween

How do I even start this one? I really don’t know where to begin.

* First, this occasion really gives me the creepy feelings.

* Second, it has been shared by Believers that it is not a Godly event.

I tried checking any websites discussing Halloween and found one from bibleinfo.com a great insight.

First of all, understand that Halloween is mostly a western custom and it has no direct reference in the Bible. However, there are Biblical principles that directly relate to the celebration of Halloween. Perhaps the best way to understand how Halloween relates to the Bible is to look at the meaning of Halloween and its history.

So here we go, I will copy the information and the link was already noted above.

What Does Halloween Mean?

The word Halloween literally means the evening before All Hallows Day or All Saint’s Day, celebrated on November 1. Halloween is also the shortened name of Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Evening and All Saint’s Eve which is celebrated on October 31. The origin and meaning of Halloween is derived from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, but more recently we think of Halloween as a night filled with candy, trick-or-treating, pumpkins, ghosts and death.

The History of Halloween

The origin of Halloween as we know it, began over 1900 years ago in England, Ireland, and Northern France. It was a Celtic celebration of the new year, called Samhain which occurred on November 1. The Celtic druids revered it as the biggest holiday of the year and emphasized that day as the time when the souls of the dead supposedly could mingle with the living. Bonfires were a large aspect of this holiday as well.

Samhain remained popular until St. Patrick and other Christian missionaries arrived in the area. As the population began to convert to Christianity the holiday began to lose its popularity. However, instead of eradicating pagan practices such as “Halloween” or Samhain, the church instead used these holidays with a Christian twist to bring paganism and Christianity together, making it easier for local populations to convert to the state religion.

Another tradition is the druidic belief that during the night of November 1, demons, witches, and evil spirits freely roamed the earth with joy to greet the arrival of “their season” – the long nights and early dark of the winter months. The demons had their fun with poor mortals that night, frightening, harming, and even playing all kinds of mean tricks on them. The only way, it seemed, for scared humans to escape the persecution of the demons was to offer them things they liked, especially fancy foods and sweets. Or, in order to escape the fury of these horrible creatures, a human could disguise himself as one of them and join in their roaming. In this way they would recognize the human as a demon or witch and the human would not be bothered that night.

During the Roman empire there was the custom of eating or giving away fruit, especially apples, on Halloween. It spread to neighboring countries; to Ireland and Scotland from Britain, and to the Slavic countries from Austria. It is probably based upon a celebration of the Roman goddess Pomona, to whom gardens and orchards were dedicated. Since the annual Feast of Pomona was held on November 1, the relics of that observance became part of our Halloween celebration, for instance the familiar tradition of “dunking” for apples.

Today costumes take the place of disguises and candy has replaced fruits and other fancy foods as children go door-to-door trick-or-treating. Originally trick-or-treating began as “souling,” when children would go door-to-door on Halloween, with soul cakes, singing and saying prayers for the dead. Over the course of history Halloween’s visible practices have changed with the culture of the day, but the purpose of honoring the dead, veiled in fun and festivities, has remained the same. The question remains, is celebrating Halloween bad or unbiblical?

Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?

As a logical thinking person, consider for a moment what you are celebrating and what Halloween is all about. Is the holiday uplifting? Is Halloween pure? Is it lovely, praiseworthy, or of good report? Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Is Halloween based on godly themes such as the idea of peace, freedom and salvation or does the holiday bring to mind feelings of fear, obsession and bondage?

Additionally, does the Bible sanction witchcraft, witches, and sorcery? On the contrary, the Bible makes it clear that these practices are an abomination to the Lord. The Bible goes on to say in Leviticus 20:27 that anyone who practiced witchcraft, soothsaying, sorcery should be killed. Deuteronomy 18:9-13 adds, “When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you … one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.”

Now, is it wrong to celebrate Halloween? Well, Ephesians 5:11 says “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.”

Halloween was not exposed by the church for what it was, but rather was incorporated into church holy days. Are Christians responding in the same way today?As you think about Halloween—its origins and what it stands for—would it be best to spend time dwelling upon its themes or to shed light upon what lies below the surface of this holiday’s celebration. God is calling humanity to follow Him and to “come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing” (2 Corinthians 6:17).

So please, brothers and sisters, I hope this article will help us understand why we don’t need to participate in Halloween.

Burned

My youngest son, Zakarias Clarence had an accident today, September 17, 2018. He was with us at the burger store when he wandered around. He usually does it. Walking, running, eating stuff. But this day, I saw him walk towards our neighbor store that offers shakes and some banana cues and other cooked food. I was doing something else when I heard a cookware fell, then screams, then my son crying out loud.

I quickly went to see what happened and I saw Jonathan carrying my son and his foot was covered in cooking oil. Used. Still hot but not the boiling hot.

Then I heard my wife screaming while walking towards us. I told her to shut up and I will check for first aid.

I thought of going home with Zak to check what first aid to use. But I remembered there is a health center for our Barangay. I immediately ran to my motorcycle and sped to the Barangay Health Center with Zak. There were other riders honking on to help me with the traffic. Upon arriving to the health center, first aid was applied. Water and ice.

A few minutes passed by the doctor ordered that Zak be transfered to a hospital so the wounds can be cleaned and treated. We used the Barangay vehicle with sirens. Since I have a motorcycle, I went home, grabbed my IDs, my bag, helmet and headed to the hospital.

I saw my wife and Zak outside the E.R. because Zak is still crying due to the pain. After check up, we bought some medicines and all, headed home and let Zak sleep.

I wll never understand why accidents happen. But my guess is it teaches us. It gives us lessons that we will never learn elsewhere.

Zak is now on the road to recovery. He still cries about the pain and all the effects of this ordeal. But he is making progress.

For assistance, I found this link on the web for 2nd degree burns in children.

My First Time

My First Time

Today is September 6, 2018. Around 12 noon, I was at Schola Angelicus delivering lunch for my daughter. Then I decided to take the Mamatid to Gulod exiting NIA Road to San Isidro to pick up my Grade 3 son from school.

It was a wet day. Been raining for almost half a day. I was driving carefully and slowly because of the condition of the road. There was an SUV ahead of me. The driver was slow. So I had to be slow too. Then a motorcycle passed and went in front of me.

I also have been coughing since I just recovered from flu. I felt the phlegm in my mouth, and I had to spit it out. I had an idea of stopping, taking my helmet off and spitting it out. BJutl no, l guess that was the mistake. I tried taking my helmet partially off my head then spit it out using my left hand. That was the plan.

Then, the motorcycle driver in front of me stopped. Which caused me to grab the brakes and the clutch. To make matters worst, since it was wet, I slid — good thing I was wearing a helmet.

I felt the asphalt road. My hands was acted upon impact. The bike became the shock absorber that received all the force. Which was good. The only pain I felt was on my right leg. I fell on my left side. The pictures shows small wounds on my leg. Small but painful reminder to always pray and be safe.

Thank God because someone also helped me get up from the road. Then he asked me if I was fine, to which I said yeah. Thanked him and check the damage or damages on my motorcycle. Good thing also that there were no other vehicles behind me or, in front. I was able to get to the side of the road and check myself and my ride.

Upon checking, I rode off and went to my son’s school and went home. Injured.

By the way, I didn’t swallow the phlegm, I was able to still spit it out.

To God be the glory.

What A Wonderful Life

I remember my Inay, or grandmother, before she passed. I sang her this song, and I couldn’t help but cry. Until now.

Close your eyes
And just hear me sing
One last long goodbye
One last song before you spread your wings

I was so distraught that day that I even cried while at the office. I had to work. But I don’t know why I was there knowing that I really cannot focus and my peers doesn’t seem to care.

There’s so much left to say
And before this moment slips away

I even yelled at my daughter because I cannot think straight. She just wants to eat at McDonald’s which was just in front of us. My wife decided to just take the kids home and let me be. I was so in pain. I couldn’t stop my tears.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

When that week ended, we went to Batangas for the wake. We remembered the good times we had with Inay. We remembered how she scolds us and teaches us and shows us her love.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

On the day of her burial, it was raining. I was one of the people who carried her coffin. Me and my brother. My family was back in the bus, because we don’t have an umbrella with us that day.

And soon you will be gone
But these words, they will live on

After we got her buried, we went home. I felt empty. Now, it will be seven years since she passed. 2011 has passed. I still feel the deep pain. Pain caused by death. It also gave birth to my first tattoo.

All that I am
You let me be
I will remember you
For all that you’ve done
And given to me

Love will remain
This I can see
Now and forever more
Because of you
Now I believe
I believe

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I loved you so

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I’ll miss you so

And though our days come to an end
No, I’ll never love like this again
What a wonderful life
A wonderful life
What a wonderful life
What a wonderful life

Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the past. Moving on means we have to continue living despite the pain and hurt and all those things. We move forward with these memories in us. We cherish it. We feel it. What a wonderful life.

Thank you Alter Bridge for this song.

Jesus At The Center

It’s rare that I write 2 succeeding blogs in 1 day, let alone 1 month. But after writing what I wrote earlier lambasting and ranting about age and leadership, I have now calmed down. Plus a shot of Korean wine and coffee helped. Not sure how but it gave me headache.

Seriously though, I led the Praise and Worship earlier today, January 28, 2018, and our last song was, guess it… Yes, JESUS AT THE CENTER by Israel & New Breed.

I was able to think clearly after 2 large cups of coffee and a shot of alcohol and it made me realized something. Is Jesus at my center?

Part of the song says:

Nothing else matters,

nothing in this world will do.

Jesus You’re the center,

and everything revolves around you.

While writing this blog, I am playing in constant repetition the 2 versions of the song.

Jesus be the center of my life,

Jesus be the center of my life

From beginning to the end

It will always be,

It’s always been You Jesus

I know I’ve made a mistake of taking things and turn it into one big mess but, I guess the good thing about it is, me – questioning my own faith and where it’s foundation is laid. I started checking my heart and praying to God to correct my feelings. I asked one Pastor to pray for me because, at the end of the day, I know it is my pride that is hurting more than anything. I just hope I am not too late.

From my heart to heavens

Jesus be the center,

It’s all about You,

Yes it’s all about You

I asked God for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me a servant’s heart. I asked God for help.

Jesus, be the center of my everything.

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