Jesus At The Center

It’s rare that I write 2 succeeding blogs in 1 day, let alone 1 month. But after writing what I wrote earlier lambasting and ranting about age and leadership, I have now calmed down. Plus a shot of Korean wine and coffee helped. Not sure how but it gave me headache.

Seriously though, I led the Praise and Worship earlier today, January 28, 2018, and our last song was, guess it… Yes, JESUS AT THE CENTER by Israel & New Breed.

I was able to think clearly after 2 large cups of coffee and a shot of alcohol and it made me realized something. Is Jesus at my center?

Part of the song says:

Nothing else matters,

nothing in this world will do.

Jesus You’re the center,

and everything revolves around you.

While writing this blog, I am playing in constant repetition the 2 versions of the song.

Jesus be the center of my life,

Jesus be the center of my life

From beginning to the end

It will always be,

It’s always been You Jesus

I know I’ve made a mistake of taking things and turn it into one big mess but, I guess the good thing about it is, me – questioning my own faith and where it’s foundation is laid. I started checking my heart and praying to God to correct my feelings. I asked one Pastor to pray for me because, at the end of the day, I know it is my pride that is hurting more than anything. I just hope I am not too late.

From my heart to heavens

Jesus be the center,

It’s all about You,

Yes it’s all about You

I asked God for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me a servant’s heart. I asked God for help.

Jesus, be the center of my everything.

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Down to my Last

While writing this one, I am listening to Alterbridge’s song, Down To My Last. Why the title? I don’t know. Honestly. I don’t even know why I am writing at 12:24AM, January 6, 2016.

Probably because I feel so empty now. I am burned out. I can’t continue with my projekts. I am so stressed with work. I need more management skills with handling money. My emotions are still fluctuating and I really don’t know how to write it.

By now, the song is Missing by Evanescence. Followed by I Will Run To You by Hillsong.

I have poems, stories and all inside my head but I lack the will to write them down. Could it be that I am already tired of my life? Could it be that my purpose is just to exist and burn out like some fart?

Then again, some farts are still more appreciated than my existence.

I just couldn’t fit these things here now. Come to think of it, it’s my first blog for 2016 and I am so … lost for words and thought.

Am I really lost? Or did I take a wrong turn?

I don’t know.

If i am still lost, then my labors were all in vain.

So what is it now? Which is which? Lost or doped?

I think the question is: am I really lost? Or did I lose it? At least they have different impacts.

Now playing: Be Magnified.

Is this the answer that I looking for? By the way, am I writing a blog or a poem? Argh! I don’t know!

Now playing: Solitaire.

Am I dying? And keeping to himself he plays the game… he’s playing Solitaire.

Am I?