Surviving The Night

Thoughts of suicide creeps in. I had to stop listening to Linkin Park for the night because I am getting scared of the images flashing inside head. Scenes of where I am seated beside our double deck bed, where I am strangled. In between my 2 boys and my wife and daughter. 

No. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. I know the negative impact it will have on my family. The trauma it will cause my kids. The blame. The questions that will never be answered.

I also happen to know that heaven will not and will never accept suicides. There are things that I need answers that I can only ask God once I am in heaven.

So I sat, prayed. Surrendered every thoughts running in my head and decided to write it down. I also replaced the songs with worship songs to somehow, remind and enforce to me that God is still in control.

No. It will never happen because I am a child of God. 

Advertisements

Help Wanted:

I don’t know what to say. I need roughly Php 30000.00 for my 2 kids’ education. The amount is just for the enrollment. It does not cover the full amount of the tuition fee for the year, and the balance that we still owe one school.

My eldest kid, Kae, has ADHD so she  requires Special Education. It is not cheap. The school that we once inquired to has a tuition fee amounting to almost P130K a year! Thank God we found a school that somehow, Kae learned to read and write. Although she still struggles at times, she was able to learn. But now, her education is currently unsure. We are asked to pay the full balance for last year amounting to P20K which I don’t have.

My 2nd kid, Kas, is an incoming Grade 2 student. Kas and Kae have 2 different schools because we were unable to pay his full balance. He is still struggling with his studies but I know he is a smart boy.

We tried to make both ends meet last year. I was working and the pay isn’t that good. Then, mid-August I quit work to put up my own business which is what we have now. But we’re just starting up. I am not sure how we can pay. All I know as of the moment is God is in control and He can give me the amount we badly needed.

I also know that God will and can use people to fulfill what is needed. I just have to trust His wisdom.

Kae doesn’t want to stay in Samar where my family is right now because of the vacation. Kar wants to stay and study there but I don’t want to. I am praying that God will give us the necessary amount so we can have our kids enrolled this school year. I can’t even start a GoFundMe because I am not in the US or other countries that it exists.

By the way, Kae’s therapy has also been stopped because of lack of fund. Php 12/month is not easy on the pocket.

IF you want to help me with this, my account info (last time I checked, this is still active):

Bank name: METROBANK

Account name: RIESNEL N. GABION

Account number: 355-3-355-63376-5

Or using PayPal.Me link: https://www.paypal.me/GabNarazo

Palawan Trip

Palawan Trip

Palawan is one if not the best Island in the world. It first became the most beautiful island in the world last 2015. Then it became the most beautiful island in the world last 2016. I never really considered myself a traveler. But thinking about it I have already been to some places here in the Philippines. For example in Laguna alone I have already been to towns namely, Liliw, Nagcarlan, Sta. Cruz, Calauan. To name a few. I have been to BatangasTanauan, Nasugbu, Lian, Balayan, Sto. Tomas. To Quezon province – Lucena, Mulanay, Macalelon, Catanuan. I have been to Rizal province – Taytay, Antipolo. Been to Cavite – Tagaytay, Bailen. I have also been to Cebu, Leyte, Northern Samar, Pampanga, Pangasinan, Baguio, parts of La Union and Bulacan.

Last April 10th to the 17th, 2017 though, I had a pleasure of being able to travel to Palawan and marvel at how God made this province. Palawan is a gem. It has been voted as the most beautiful island in the world for years – 2013, 2016. Palawan has some of the most finest sands in the world. It has white beaches that can rival Boracay. Palawan has El Nido, Coron and Puerto Princesa – just to name a few.

On our first day in Palawan we went to Honda Bay for 3 island hopping activities. We went to starfish Island then to Luli Island then to Cowrie Island. Each island has its own to offer. Then for the first night we had to tricycles to bring us to fireflies Farm. Weaver told of how fireflies benefit our environment and how fireflies are indicator of a healthy environment.

Palawan also has one of the Seven Wonders of the World which is the Subterranean River. This is where we went for our second day. It took us roughly  3 hours  to get there. When we got to the Subterranean River it was magnificently awesome. The river has 12 kilometers total, but only 1.5 kilometers is allowed for visitors. The rest is for researchers from Italy. We have been told that the river is cold but we are advised not to dip our hands because the fish might bite our hands or fingers. Subterranean River also boasts some of the best stalactites and stalagmites that you will ever see.

We also went to El Nido and we stayed at a hotel whom I will not name. My personal experience with El Nido is a satisfying one. Although I have issues with Wi-Fi and the water pressure which seems to be an island issue, I still would say that I am happy with El Nido. El Nido has a lot of different islands that you can visit and that you can explore. you can also go snorkeling, deep-diving and a whole lot more. Just be sure to wear a rash guard so that you will not get sunburned. There is also some in Island activities in El Nido. We have been told that we can go rappelling, rock climbing and other stuff. But we were unable to do any of the in Island activities.

After the El Nido activities we went back to Puerto Princesa for our last day which includes City tour. It is where tourists go within Puerto Princesa City. We went to Butterfly farm where we saw different species of butterflies and other places that I have already forgotten. After eating our lunch at Nicnocs, we headed back to the hotel to finally get ready for our flight to Manila.

I miss Palawan.

Healer

Healer

I have heard this song several times already. The message it has back then still rings true today. GOD IS OUR HEALER. This particular blog was on my draft since I can remember. I checked it and it seems a good one. So I have modified the content and will post it afterwards. The composer of the song is Mike Guglielmucci. Sure, almost everybody in the planet knows what he did. But does it really matter? Also, he already repented and he is to deal it with God, not us. Why can’t we do what Jesus said? So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” John 8:7. Me? I will not even think of judging the guy for one, I am not Jesus to worry about that. Second, I myself am a sinner that needs forgiveness. Third, we are not tasked to do the judging.

Michael has sinned not against me but against God so, let God deal with him. We can only pray for the man. If he is sincere, God will restore him. I believe he is sincere and it has been years already since this incident. Enough of the judgement.

I will just enjoy the song.

 

Healer

You hold my very moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And heal all my disease

I trust in You, I trust in You

 

And I believe You’re my healer

I believe You are all I need

I believe

 

And I believe You’re my portion

I believe You’re more than enough for me

Jesus You’re all I need

 

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

Tithes and Offerings

Tithes and Offerings

I am not going to pretend that I know this subject. It’s just that I got disturbed by one of a very close someone who said to a young fellow not to brag about tithes, but then bragged about it when she was talking to another Pastor. I know it might be nothing to others but to me, it was a big deal. Big enough that I wrote this piece. But since we are already on the topic, let us expand. I have learned from different people and I will share them here.

Tithes

  • sometimes, tithes. the tenth part of agricultural produce or personal income set apart as an offering to God or for works of mercy, or the same amount regarded as an obligation or tax for the support of the church, priesthood, or the like. – dictionary.com.

Tithing is an Old Testament concept. The tithe was a requirement of the Law in which the Israelites were to give 10 percent of the crops they grew and the livestock they raised to the tabernacle/temple (Leviticus 27:30; Numbers 18:26; Deuteronomy 14:24; 2 Chronicles 31:5). In fact, the Old Testament Law required multiple tithes—one for the Levites, one for the use of the temple and the feasts, and one for the poor of the land—which would have pushed the total to around 23.3 percent. Some understand the Old Testament tithe as a method of taxation to provide for the needs of the priests and Levites in the sacrificial system.” – gotquestions.org

It just says that TITHES is a LAW. A COMMANDMENT that each one of the Believers need to follow and never forget. Yes, it is an Old Testament law that still applies to each and every Christians.  Does God really need it? No. But our church workers do. Our church building does need it. Besides, what is 10% of what we totally earned? From what was passed on to me, we compute for the Net Income not the Gross Income. You can use this calculator for help. There is no other way about it, so, let us pray and continuously ask God for wisdom about it.

Offerings

  • something offered in worship or devotion, as to a deity; an oblation or sacrifice. – dictionary.com.

Now, offering is different from Tithes. Offerings are the ones we give out of love. 2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV) says that “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” We give out of love and faith. We give because we know that God can outgive us. I found a good article about giving, it’s the 10 Essential Truths about Christian Giving. I will just leave that at that.

I am sharing these not because I give a lot, on the contrary, we are in a tight financial situation right now because of our kids and because there is no income during summer because our store is located in front of a university. There’s no classes, no students, no income. But we know God will provide. We know He looks at us and sees our needs.

San Antonio Spurs

2 wins. 4 losses.

The San Antonio Spurs lost to the OKC Thunder in Game 6 of the 2016 NBA Playoffs. Heartbreaking. Again. I still recall how we lost the 2013 NBA Championships back then against the Miami Heat. 2012 we lost against the OKC Thunder too. Then we lost to the LA Clippers last year. I thought this will be OUR YEAR for the 6th NBA Championship Ring… but no.

Destiny has other plans for us, for our team. Aldridge is here, Kawhi is still young, Danny Green can still improve but Manu and Timmy might not be back again next year. The GSW will still brag about being the might-be-Champions. I hope they lose against the Cavs. I hope the Thunder lose against the GSW. I hope… I hope TD, Manu and TP can still one more ring. Together.

I am angry at the results of the Philippine Vice President results. I am so darn tired of my work. I hate traveling back and forth from the house to the office every night. Then I came home with the OKC on a 20+ points lead against my SAS!? Where is justice in there?!

Forgive me for my rants. I am a BIG San Antonio Spurs fan. I wrote this article back in 2013 with tears and I am really heartbroken. Now, I am writing this piece with another heartache and tears, and with Jack Daniels. I can’t believe they lost just like that. It’s really hard for me to swallow this loss. 2013 was a heartbreaking loss… and then this one.

Part to blame are the NBA Referees who are not calling the needed calls and making the calls on miscues. But as irritating as it may, SAS never put the blame on them. There was even a scene where Kawhi questioned a ref’s call! KAWHI QUESTIONED A REF! How often do we see Kawhi question a call?

TD, TP and Manu might not come back next year. Age has caught up. Fathertime won’t and can’t be denied anymore. We need young ones to carry the tradition and the torch. We need Danny Green to improve more and more. Kawhi Leonard to be fiercer and be more than what he is now. We need to have LaMarcus Aldridge develop into the player that he is needed to be, tough.

I am still and will always be a San Antonio Spurs fan. Win or lose. My loyalty is theirs alone. SAS wins with grace, and losses with class and dignity.

to Tim Duncan (21), Tony Parker (9) and Manu Ginobili (20), if this should be your last, SALAMAT NG MARAMI.

for my daughter

This is for my daughter.

I would want her to know how I love her and how I will strive not just for her future but for her siblings as well.

My daughter has ADHD. She’s a slow learner. She has difficulty remembering things and lessons and all. But she is good with arts. With colors.

We went to a school nearby to have her assessed. I was expecting a bit but turns out, everything has been a rollercoaster. I didn’t see it coming. Or I refused to see it coming. I forgot that it’s not just the school’s responsibility but mine too as a father, as a parent. My daughter was not accepted because of her situation. She can’t read that good, she doesn’t speak that well.

To whoever reads this, I am asking for help. You can visit this site, MEG project for details. You can send me messages on how to help us out. Please.