ballad of the fallen angel

the darkest nights of the soul

Worship.

I was planning on writing about Tithes and the effects of not giving. But then, I bumped into a question every Believers should ask, “Why worship?” I stopped. I asked myself, “What drives me to worship God?” I was lost for an answer.

I opened my Messenger and asked my friends from other worship teams and asked them this question too. I also checked the message Pastor Rommel Guevara gave from the last #UsapangWorship we attended. He mentioned that he literally almost gave up on leading the praise and worship for some time but said that he found an answer. He said, because “Jesus is WORTHY.” I tried looking for that part on YouTube pero there’s no copy of it sa YouTube. Then I saw the same message from LoveStruck 2019.

He spoke about Revelation chapter 4 and chapter 5. In his own words, “as for me, sapat na ang sinabi sa Revelation chapter 4 and Revelation chapter 5.” then he asked the crowd and said that for him, “simple lang… because HE IS WORTHY. Wag na nating pahabain ang usapan, HE IS, HE IS WORTHY. So pag tinagalog yun, in my language, DAPAT LANG.” It struck me. DAPAT LANG. Because JESUS IS WORTHY.

So I checked what is on Revelation 4 and Revelation 5:

The Throne Room of Heaven

4 After these things I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven. And the first voice which I heard was like a trumpet speaking with me, saying, “Come up here, and I will show you things which must take place after this.”

2 Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne. 3 [a]And He who sat there was like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, in appearance like an emerald. 4 Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and on the thrones I saw twenty-four elders sitting, clothed in white [b]robes; and they had crowns of gold on their heads. 5 And from the throne proceeded lightnings, [c]thunderings, and voices. Seven lamps of fire were burning before the throne, which are the[d] seven Spirits of God.

6 Before the throne there [e]was a sea of glass, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures full of eyes in front and in back. 7 The first living creature was like a lion, the second living creature like a calf, the third living creature had a face like a man, and the fourth living creature was like a flying eagle. 8 The four living creatures, each having six wings, were full of eyes around and within. And they do not rest day or night, saying:

“Holy,[f] holy, holy,
Lord God Almighty,
Who was and is and is to come!”

9 Whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who sits on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10 the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying:

11 “You are worthy, [g]O Lord,
To receive glory and honor and power;
For You created all things,
And by Your will they [h]exist and were created.”
The Lamb Takes the Scroll

5 And I saw in the right hand of Him who sat on the throne a scroll written inside and on the back, sealed with seven seals. 2 Then I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and to loose its seals?” 3 And no one in heaven or on the earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll, or to look at it.

4 So I wept much, because no one was found worthy to open [a]and read the scroll, or to look at it. 5 But one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep. Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the scroll and [b]to loose its seven seals.”

6 And I looked, [c]and behold, in the midst of the throne and of the four living creatures, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as though it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent out into all the earth. 7 Then He came and took the scroll out of the right hand of Him who sat on the throne.

Worthy Is the Lamb

8 Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9 And they sang a new song, saying:

“You are worthy to take the scroll,
And to open its seals;
For You were slain,
And have redeemed us to God by Your blood
Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation,
10 And have made [d]us kings[e] and priests to our God;
And [f]we shall reign on the earth.”

11 Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, 12 saying with a loud voice:

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”

13 And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying:

“Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and [g]ever!”

14 Then the four living creatures said, “Amen!” And the [h]twenty-four elders fell down and worshiped [i]Him who lives forever and ever.

So that is what it is. Basically, Pastor Rommel Guevara is right. Simple lang. JESUS IS WORTHY. Kaya DAPAT LANG.

“So bakit ka maglilingkod kay Lord? Kay Jesus? DAPAT LANG. Bakit mo Sya mamahalin? DAPAT LANG. Bakit sobra-sobra ata offering mo? DAPAT LANG.”

So the answer to my own question, BECAUSE JESUS IS WORTHY. DAPAT LANG. It also doesn’t matter where you are, whatever job you have, we must always remember that we worship because JESUS IS WORTHY.

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#ADNLastsForever

I was to write something about what That Gurl said on her blog. But then, I realized that this blog is not about her, this is about AlDub Nation – or ADN.

I had to delete 3 pages of what I wrote and start from scratch. I want to honor ADN. I want to let them know that yes, we can be hurt, we can be bent, we can be forgotten, even unrecognized and be criticized. But we still have to rise above it. We have to stand strong. And we need to move forward.

She already said her piece, now it’s our time.

I understand if some of us are angry, hating, or something.

ADN, please do not look down on yourself. She may have painted you as irrelevant, irrational, too controlling, too demanding, and all sorts, BUT YOU ARE NOT. You just happened to be a fan who loves the artist and has provided and supported and loved her. We have been the unfortunate recipient of an ungrateful person and some of her followers. Please be strong.

We need to look out for each other now. We need to reach out to one another and strengthen each other. We are all we got. We need to learn from this. We don’t deserve to be the scapegoat of someone’s fault. You don’t need to be the one to pick up the mess and clean it up.

#CheerUpADN

Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts

There are times that I want to bomb a busload of people, killing and slicing a person alive, getting sexually explicit, etc. There thoughts are so clear and really realistic that it scares the crap out of me. I never thought that there is a name for it but apparently.

I checked online and it was explained in words that I can understand. I have been experiencing this for a while now, and I really think I need to see a specialist. A Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I can see horrible things inside my mind and I am a bit scared that I may act it out.

I talked to a friend about this matter and he told me that it just might be the effect of being creative or having a creative mind. I checked those websites that says that it is, and I found the clearer explanation of what it is – Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts.

I found a food explanation of it from ADAA’s website. Says that “Unwanted intrusive thoughts are stuck thoughts that cause great distress. They seem to come from out of nowhere, arrive with a whoosh, and cause a great deal of anxiety. The content of unwanted intrusive thoughts often focuses on sexual or violent or socially unacceptable images. People who experience unwanted intrusive thoughts are afraid that they might commit the acts they picture in their mind. They also fear that the thoughts mean something terrible about them. Some unwanted intrusive thoughts consist of repetitive doubts about relationships, decisions small and large, sexual orientation or identity, intrusions of thoughts about safety, religion, death or worries about questions that cannot be answered with certainty. Some are just weird thoughts that make no apparent sense. Unwanted Intrusive thoughts can be very explicit, and many people are ashamed and worried about them, and therefore keep them secret.

There are times that when riding a bus to work, I would want to just bomb that I am riding on. There are also times that when walking at a dark alley, and there is a person walking in front of me, I would love to stab them to death. There are times that I really think I am getting crazy or something. There are also times that when I see a woman, lustful thoughts flood in and I really pray to God to have my mind be cleansed from dirty thoughts. Then whenever I see a rapist getting arrested or getting mobbed, I would really love to join in and if I can, kill them. Slowly, but surely, slicing and dicing. Something like that torture scene from the Law Abiding Citizen movie.

Yup! My mind has a mind of its own. I really questioned my sanity and has been questioning it continuously. It scares me. I also see at times how to hurt my own family, can you imagine hurting your own kids!? It TERRIFIES ME. So much so that I sometimes go outside the house to breathe fresh air and clear my head. Oh dear God, it really does.

But there is a good news about it. Or rather, some form of relief. Based on these articles I have read, “In reality, a thought—even a very scary thought—is not an impulse. The problem is not one of impulse control- it is over control. They are at opposite ends of the continuum.  However, sufferers get bluffed by their anxiety, and become desperate for reassurance. However, reassurance only works temporarily, and people can become reassurance junkies. The only way to effectively deal with intrusive obsessive thoughts is by reducing one’s sensitivity to them. Not by being reassured that it won’t happen or is not true.

Unwanted intrusive thoughts are reinforced by getting entangled with them, worrying about them, struggling against them, trying to reason them away. They are also made stronger by trying to avoid them. Leave the thoughts alone, treat them as if they are not even interesting, and they will eventually fade into the background.”

It also provides some tips on what to do and what not to do:

Here are steps for changing your attitude and overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts

  • Label these thoughts as “intrusive thoughts.”
  • Remind yourself that these thoughts are automatic and not up to you.
  • Accept and allow the thoughts into your mind. Do not try to push them away.
  • Float, and practice allowing time to pass.
  • Remember that less is more. Pause. Give yourself time. There is no urgency.
  • Expect the thoughts to come back again
  • Continue whatever you were doing prior to the intrusive thought while allowing the anxiety to be present.

Try Not To:

  • Engage with the thoughts in any way.
  • Push the thoughts out of your mind.
  • Try to figure out what your thoughts “mean.”
  • Check to see if this is “working” to get rid of the thoughts

This approach can be difficult to apply. But for anyone who keeps applying it for just a few weeks, there is an excellent chance that they will see a decrease in the frequency and intensity of the unwanted intrusive thoughts.

Why Suicide?

November 8, 2018.

Around 6am.

A young girl, aged 17 tried crossing the railway but she froze. She saw the light from the train. She heard the noise of that incoming train, yet she just stood there.

There were rumors about her mother passed away last 2017 and her grandmother passed away recently. Which is why her father came home from overseas. Her father asked her not to go to school and just spend the day with him, she refused. Rode a tricycle, paid their fare, and walk on… Thing is, she has her earphones on her, probably plays a little loud, did not realize that it will cause her her life.

Some said that it seemed as if she already thought about killing herself this day. I really don’t know. I tried checking her Instagram account but only has limited access. Rumors also surfaced that her deadline was until November 11, 2018.  Guess we never have to wait for that day.

I have been depressed before. I have thought of killing myself, not once. But all throughout those darkest moments, God intervened. He made me see what the repercussions will be, how it will greatly affect my kids, especially my daughter who has ADHD. How it will put a load of financial burden on my family.

I know how it feels to be alone and blame yourself. I know that killing yourself is the easiest way to escape the pain and all the tragedies that befall you. But how about the people you left behind? Those who will take care of the people you left? Your kids? Your parents? The people who have looked up to you? The betrayal that they will feel because of what you did will be too heavy for them. Then you have only passed on the pain and misery.

To those who are in emotional crisis and in need of immediate assistance, please contact the one of these:

24/7 HOPELINE at:

(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673)
2919 (toll-free number for all GLOBE and TM subscribers)

700 Club Asia

Please choose below the nature of your requests.  Their prayer team is eager to receive them and pray with you.

Metro Manila:                810-7717 or 810-7176
Toll-Free:                         1-800-1-888-8700 (outside Metro Manila)
Hong Kong:                     (852) 3114-5753
USA and Canada:          1-626-789-0435

In the Philippines, you may send a text message at these numbers:

Smart                                +63-920-222-8373

Globe                                +63-917-406-5001

Sun                                    +63-932-449-2499

[soulprojekt]

Smart        +63-919-845-8295

Globe         +63-917-358-4832

 

Suicide is never the answer. There are people who are willing to help, just let them know.

Christians and Halloween – Part 2

I am now being torn apart between being kind and being right. But I know that I also have the responsibility to spread the truth and contradict and let other people know truth vs lies.

So I have researched and read things about Halloween and carefully weighs both sides of the spectrum: those who thinks it’s okay to celebrate it and those, like me, who is not okay with it.

Let’s look at some important things I have found from Bibleinfo.

The history of Halloween

The origin of Halloween as we know it, began over 1900 years ago in England, Ireland, and Northern France. It was a Celtic celebration of the new year, called Samhain /ˈsouən/ which occurred on November 1. The Celtic druids revered it as the biggest holiday of the year and emphasized that day as the time when the souls of the dead supposedly could mingle with the living. Bonfires (bone fires = human remains) were a large aspect of this holiday as well.

Samhain remained popular until St. Patrick and other Christian missionaries arrived in the area. As the population began to convert to Christianity the holiday began to lose its popularity. However, instead of eradicating pagan practices such as “Halloween” or Samhain, the church instead used these holidays with a Christian twist to bring paganism and Christianity together, making it easier for local populations to convert to the state religion.

Another tradition is the druidic belief that during the night of November 1, demons, witches, and evil spirits freely roamed the earth with joy to greet the arrival of “their season”—the long nights and early dark of the winter months. The demons had their fun with poor mortals that night, frightening, harming, and even playing all kinds of mean tricks on them. The only way, it seemed, for scared humans to escape the persecution of the demons was to offer them things they liked, especially fancy foods and sweets. Or, in order to escape the fury of these horrible creatures, a human could disguise himself as one of them and join in their roaming. In this way, they would recognize the human as a demon or witch and the human would not be bothered that night.

During the Roman empire, there was the custom of eating or giving away fruit, especially apples, on Halloween. It spread to neighboring countries; to Ireland and Scotland from Britain, and to the Slavic countries from Austria. It is probably based upon a celebration of the Roman goddess Pomona, to whom gardens and orchards were dedicated. Since the annual Feast of Pomona was held on November 1, the relics of that observance became part of our Halloween celebration, for instance, the familiar tradition of “dunking” for apples.

Today costumes take the place of disguises and candy has replaced fruits and other fancy foods as children go door-to-door trick-or-treating. Originally trick-or-treating began as “souling,” when children would go door-to-door on Halloween, with soul cakes, singing and saying prayers for the dead. Over the course of history Halloween’s visible practices have changed with the culture of the day, but the purpose of honoring the dead, veiled in fun and festivities, has remained the same.

Should Christians celebrate Halloween?

As a logical thinking person, consider for a moment what you are celebrating and what Halloween is all about. Is the holiday uplifting? Is Halloween pure? Is it lovely, praiseworthy, or of good report? Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Is Halloween based on godly themes such as the idea of peace, freedom and salvation or does the holiday bring to mind feelings of fear, oppression and bondage?

Additionally, does the Bible sanction witchcraft, witches, and sorcery? On the contrary, the Bible makes it clear that these practices are an abomination to the Lord. The Bible goes on to say in Leviticus 20:27 that anyone who practiced witchcraft, soothsaying, sorcery should be killed. Deuteronomy 18:9-13 adds, “When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you … one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.”

Is it wrong to celebrate Halloween?

Let’s look at what the Bible adds to this topic in Ephesians 5:11, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.” This text is calling us to not only have no association with any type of dark activity BUT ALSO to shed light on this topic to those around us. As stated earlier in this article, Halloween was not exposed by the church for what it was, but rather was incorporated into church holy days. Are Christians responding in the same way today?

As you think about Halloween—its origins and what it stands for—would it be best to spend time dwelling upon its themes or to shed light upon what lies below the surface of this holiday’s celebration. God is calling humanity to follow Him and to “come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17).

I have also watched Beth, who was a former witch talk about Christians celebrating Halloween. She mentioned that there are three important holidays from the satanic calendar:

  1. Christmas
  2. Easter
  3. Halloween

She also mentioned that Anton LaVey, founder of the church of satan, once said that he is “glad that Christian parents let their children worship the devil at least one night out of the year. Welcome to Halloween.” Beth also mentioned that witches curse those candies that are being given away to children. Beth said that Halloween is already evil and you cannot take away evil from Halloween. She begs Christians to STOP celebrating and participating in this demonic holiday because it doesn’t look right in the eyes of God who sent Jesus on the cross to die for our sins.

I have also checked a former Satanist talk about Christians celebrating Halloween – John Ramirez. John became a high priest in Palo Mayombe, a form of African Spiritualism. Ramirez, now a pastor, knows all about the dark reality of Halloween. He once sacrificed animals as part of satanic rituals and his friends even knew him as “Lucifer’s son.” Ramirez says that in his opinion the other events Christians hold instead of Halloween, such as “Trunk or Treat” nights, are really no different.  

John also said that Halloween isn’t just about candies and costumes – there’s a much darker side to it.  For more of John Ramirez’s story, read here.

There’s also the CBN News Facebook poll, 87% of believers feel that Christians should not celebrate Halloween, while 13% believe it’s okay.

Just to be clear, my personal stand on this matter is that WE SHOULD NOT CELEBRATE Halloween or even participate on this holiday. We should be educated and be informed about this. And if you have already participated, just come into the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness. Ask Him to cleanse you. To break the curse that you have put upon yourself by participating on this holiday.

Christians and Halloween

How do I even start this one? I really don’t know where to begin.

* First, this occasion really gives me the creepy feelings.

* Second, it has been shared by Believers that it is not a Godly event.

I tried checking any websites discussing Halloween and found one from bibleinfo.com a great insight.

First of all, understand that Halloween is mostly a western custom and it has no direct reference in the Bible. However, there are Biblical principles that directly relate to the celebration of Halloween. Perhaps the best way to understand how Halloween relates to the Bible is to look at the meaning of Halloween and its history.

So here we go, I will copy the information and the link was already noted above.

What Does Halloween Mean?

The word Halloween literally means the evening before All Hallows Day or All Saint’s Day, celebrated on November 1. Halloween is also the shortened name of Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Evening and All Saint’s Eve which is celebrated on October 31. The origin and meaning of Halloween is derived from ancient Celtic harvest festivals, but more recently we think of Halloween as a night filled with candy, trick-or-treating, pumpkins, ghosts and death.

The History of Halloween

The origin of Halloween as we know it, began over 1900 years ago in England, Ireland, and Northern France. It was a Celtic celebration of the new year, called Samhain which occurred on November 1. The Celtic druids revered it as the biggest holiday of the year and emphasized that day as the time when the souls of the dead supposedly could mingle with the living. Bonfires were a large aspect of this holiday as well.

Samhain remained popular until St. Patrick and other Christian missionaries arrived in the area. As the population began to convert to Christianity the holiday began to lose its popularity. However, instead of eradicating pagan practices such as “Halloween” or Samhain, the church instead used these holidays with a Christian twist to bring paganism and Christianity together, making it easier for local populations to convert to the state religion.

Another tradition is the druidic belief that during the night of November 1, demons, witches, and evil spirits freely roamed the earth with joy to greet the arrival of “their season” – the long nights and early dark of the winter months. The demons had their fun with poor mortals that night, frightening, harming, and even playing all kinds of mean tricks on them. The only way, it seemed, for scared humans to escape the persecution of the demons was to offer them things they liked, especially fancy foods and sweets. Or, in order to escape the fury of these horrible creatures, a human could disguise himself as one of them and join in their roaming. In this way they would recognize the human as a demon or witch and the human would not be bothered that night.

During the Roman empire there was the custom of eating or giving away fruit, especially apples, on Halloween. It spread to neighboring countries; to Ireland and Scotland from Britain, and to the Slavic countries from Austria. It is probably based upon a celebration of the Roman goddess Pomona, to whom gardens and orchards were dedicated. Since the annual Feast of Pomona was held on November 1, the relics of that observance became part of our Halloween celebration, for instance the familiar tradition of “dunking” for apples.

Today costumes take the place of disguises and candy has replaced fruits and other fancy foods as children go door-to-door trick-or-treating. Originally trick-or-treating began as “souling,” when children would go door-to-door on Halloween, with soul cakes, singing and saying prayers for the dead. Over the course of history Halloween’s visible practices have changed with the culture of the day, but the purpose of honoring the dead, veiled in fun and festivities, has remained the same. The question remains, is celebrating Halloween bad or unbiblical?

Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?

As a logical thinking person, consider for a moment what you are celebrating and what Halloween is all about. Is the holiday uplifting? Is Halloween pure? Is it lovely, praiseworthy, or of good report? Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Is Halloween based on godly themes such as the idea of peace, freedom and salvation or does the holiday bring to mind feelings of fear, obsession and bondage?

Additionally, does the Bible sanction witchcraft, witches, and sorcery? On the contrary, the Bible makes it clear that these practices are an abomination to the Lord. The Bible goes on to say in Leviticus 20:27 that anyone who practiced witchcraft, soothsaying, sorcery should be killed. Deuteronomy 18:9-13 adds, “When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you … one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.”

Now, is it wrong to celebrate Halloween? Well, Ephesians 5:11 says “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.”

Halloween was not exposed by the church for what it was, but rather was incorporated into church holy days. Are Christians responding in the same way today?As you think about Halloween—its origins and what it stands for—would it be best to spend time dwelling upon its themes or to shed light upon what lies below the surface of this holiday’s celebration. God is calling humanity to follow Him and to “come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing” (2 Corinthians 6:17).

So please, brothers and sisters, I hope this article will help us understand why we don’t need to participate in Halloween.

Burned

My youngest son, Zakarias Clarence had an accident today, September 17, 2018. He was with us at the burger store when he wandered around. He usually does it. Walking, running, eating stuff. But this day, I saw him walk towards our neighbor store that offers shakes and some banana cues and other cooked food. I was doing something else when I heard a cookware fell, then screams, then my son crying out loud.

I quickly went to see what happened and I saw Jonathan carrying my son and his foot was covered in cooking oil. Used. Still hot but not the boiling hot.

Then I heard my wife screaming while walking towards us. I told her to shut up and I will check for first aid.

I thought of going home with Zak to check what first aid to use. But I remembered there is a health center for our Barangay. I immediately ran to my motorcycle and sped to the Barangay Health Center with Zak. There were other riders honking on to help me with the traffic. Upon arriving to the health center, first aid was applied. Water and ice.

A few minutes passed by the doctor ordered that Zak be transfered to a hospital so the wounds can be cleaned and treated. We used the Barangay vehicle with sirens. Since I have a motorcycle, I went home, grabbed my IDs, my bag, helmet and headed to the hospital.

I saw my wife and Zak outside the E.R. because Zak is still crying due to the pain. After check up, we bought some medicines and all, headed home and let Zak sleep.

I wll never understand why accidents happen. But my guess is it teaches us. It gives us lessons that we will never learn elsewhere.

Zak is now on the road to recovery. He still cries about the pain and all the effects of this ordeal. But he is making progress.

For assistance, I found this link on the web for 2nd degree burns in children.

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