Mambo Number 5

I was planning on writing something about AlDub for sometime now, I just got busy and lost time and juice. But now we here.

I’ve checked somethings about their story and I found some resemblance with their story and mine. And no, I am not an Alden Richards look-alike. The only thing we got in common is we’re both male and both started wishing for forever at age 23.

Maine and RJ had a picture from 5 years ago, 2010. They both had relationships when they’re in high school. Now, they’re both single and, from where I’m looking at, they’re both inlove with each other. Aminin man o hindi.

I had my first official girlfriend when I was 23. Third if my high school relationships are to be included. Let’s name her A. I courted her for a month or 2. The ONLY woman I courted and the only one where I faced her whole clan for the first time. Isang compound kasi kaya buong angkan, hindi lang pamilya. Sa bahay talaga nila ako nagpunta isang gabi ng Lunes.

Grabe ang kaba ko nung gabing yun. Upon arriving, I immediately saw a group of men, gathered at their terrace. Gusto ko nang umuwi nung mga sandaling yun. Pero nakita ako mung kapatid nya na kaibigan ko. He escorted me while I was shaking and all.

Background.

Before I even met A, I asked God to give me someone who’s 5″2 tall, can sing at mahaba ang buhok. Then I met her. I used to call her ATE. Then there was this song that she had to guide me on and I stared at her and looked her in the eyes. I got conscious and panicked a bit. I saw her.

Fast forward to the (then) future.

A and I became a couple by November. We broke up after a few months, I went to Mindanao to mourn my grandfather’s death, went back to Laguna and got word that A’s looking for me. I went to their house to pay a visit and we reconciled. Only to break up again after a few months. I then started courting her again. How long? 5 years.

On that 5 long years, she became my everything. My friends admired me at first then started pitying me after some time. They told me to look and find someone else, but I was determined to wait. Sabi nga ni Lola Nidora, “tamang panahon”. But it never came. I got word that A was still inlove with a common friend who’s already married to a common friend. That triggered my bitterness. I immediately stopped communicating with her. Ceased the visits and all. 5 years wasted.

It became my downfall. I got mad at God for giving me false hopes, or did I just created my own horrors? I stopped going to church. I started drinking. Staying up late. Met a textmate whom I developed relationship to. Knowing that she’s married.

Started another relationship with a lady who, after 5 years (again), I have not met and again, our relationship didn’t end as I hoped it would.

Another 5 years wasted.

A total of of 10 years got wasted. I don’t even know if those years were the reason I am who I am right now.

I just hope that this Kalyeserye will bring not only laughter to the 2 main casts, but that they find true happiness with each other.

Godspeed Tisoy and Meng.

dark nights of the soul

How writing keeps my sanity

If not for writing, I might have already lost my sanity a long time ago. I have written poems that speaks of how depressed I was back then. I have written things about how my life was as the prodigal son. I have written and described how I messed my life. Indeed, it was scary and dark and tumultuous times.

I did crazy things back then. And if one ia good at deciphering codes and all, they would find those things on my poems. Some are published (Wattpad, FB, here) some are hidden, some are already part of my personal collections.

Writing allowed me to use and abuse myself and others. It gave me power over their destiny and what have yous. I was able to create characters and was able to justify their existence. I was able to hide behind these characters. I was able to deny things and blame my characters for failures and miseries.

I thank God for letting me write. Since I cannot draw, writing is most accessible for me.

For now, I am still into writing. Trying to finish Anino while working at three more stories.

Hopefully, I would be able to finish them in time.