I am hoping that someday, when you are all grown up you would be able to read this letter. I wrote this because I almost cried when your mother told me what you told her. “Baby pa ako iniwan ako ni Tatay kasi bad ako. Kulit kulit Tatay.” It hurts to read this message because it resonates my pains and my shortcomings in being your father.
- First of all, you are not a bad girl. You are just a regular girl growing up and having her own thing. You are just 5 years old, what do you want me to expect from you? I have high hopes but I will not push you to achieve them.
- Second, I want to assure you kiddo, I NEVER LEFT YOU. I had to leave you and your mom for some time. But I always made sure to have you whenever I can. I am not sure where you got that but I assure you, I never left you.
- Third, you will always be my Princess and I will always be your father. No matter what happens, this will be always be the truth.
I know I made a mistake before of not being there when you were born. I only saw you when you were already 2 months old. And by that time, you are already big. You looked like a 5 month old baby. The first time I saw you, I almost sank to the ground. I was so ashamed that I was never there when you were born. That might be the reason why I have been trying to always be there for you. Eveytime you throw your tantrums, I try to be there for you. I try to calm you down, and it somehow works. When you are crying because of pain, whenever you are sick, I just pray that it was me instead of you. I can’t bear you hurting because you are my Princess. You are my daughter. You are me.
That is also one of the reasons why I treat you differently. Because you’re my only daughter and you have 2 brothers and me and your mother to always be on the look-out. I want you to grow up without any self-doubts, if that is possible. I have a lot of things I want for you. I really hope God will always be on your side.
We have a lot of good time together and we have both enjoyed them. You always were beside me whenever we sleep at night. I was the happiest man when you graduated. When you danced in public, I was your biggest fan. I was the one who was very much proud of your big accomplishments. I am not acting as a father, I AM A FATHER. A father to you, to Lukas and now, Zakarias. You guys are mine. I want you to know how much you mean to me.
MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA.