What A Wonderful Life

I remember my Inay, or grandmother, before she passed. I sang her this song, and I couldn’t help but cry. Until now.

Close your eyes
And just hear me sing
One last long goodbye
One last song before you spread your wings

I was so distraught that day that I even cried while at the office. I had to work. But I don’t know why I was there knowing that I really cannot focus and my peers doesn’t seem to care.

There’s so much left to say
And before this moment slips away

I even yelled at my daughter because I cannot think straight. She just wants to eat at McDonald’s which was just in front of us. My wife decided to just take the kids home and let me be. I was so in pain. I couldn’t stop my tears.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

When that week ended, we went to Batangas for the wake. We remembered the good times we had with Inay. We remembered how she scolds us and teaches us and shows us her love.

The cold night calls
And the tears fall like rain
It’s so hard letting go
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

On the day of her burial, it was raining. I was one of the people who carried her coffin. Me and my brother. My family was back in the bus, because we don’t have an umbrella with us that day.

And soon you will be gone
But these words, they will live on

After we got her buried, we went home. I felt empty. Now, it will be seven years since she passed. 2011 has passed. I still feel the deep pain. Pain caused by death. It also gave birth to my first tattoo.

All that I am
You let me be
I will remember you
For all that you’ve done
And given to me

Love will remain
This I can see
Now and forever more
Because of you
Now I believe
I believe

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I loved you so

What a wonderful life
For as long as you’ve been at my side
And I want you to know
I’ll miss you so

And though our days come to an end
No, I’ll never love like this again
What a wonderful life
A wonderful life
What a wonderful life
What a wonderful life

Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the past. Moving on means we have to continue living despite the pain and hurt and all those things. We move forward with these memories in us. We cherish it. We feel it. What a wonderful life.

Thank you Alter Bridge for this song.


Grace and Mercy


Mercy and grace are best illustrated in the salvation that is available through Jesus Christ. We deserve judgment, but if we receive Jesus Christ as Savior, we receive mercy from God and we are delivered from judgment. Instead of judgment, we receive by grace salvation, forgiveness of sins, abundant life (John 10:10), and an eternity in Heaven, the most wonderful place imaginable (Revelation 21-22). Because of the mercy and grace of God, our response should be to fall on our knees in worship and thanksgiving. Hebrews 4:16 declares, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”


Got Questions

Following God’s Will

What does it take to follow God’s will?

In Jonah 1:3, it says that

But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

Jonah TRIED running away from God’s order. He was supposed to go to Nineveh where he is set to proclaim God’s words.

Now, on a personal level, how to I follow God’s will?

I have seen tons of how to’s on this subject and I really don’t have the guts to say that “this is how you follow God’s will” video.

As of the moment, all I want is to hear God’s voice telling me what He wants me to do.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

John 10:27

I do not want to run away again from God’s will. I have already done that before. Not once.

I do not want to lose the presence of God in my life just because my pride got hurt a bit. I am more “educated” now than before. I have more to lose now. People have already trusted me. I do not want to be watching again from afar.

God has already laid out His plan, promises, and all.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.

2 Corinthians 1:20

God knows what is best.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

No. I am not letting go this time.


Jesus At The Center

It’s rare that I write 2 succeeding blogs in 1 day, let alone 1 month. But after writing what I wrote earlier lambasting and ranting about age and leadership, I have now calmed down. Plus a shot of Korean wine and coffee helped. Not sure how but it gave me headache.

Seriously though, I led the Praise and Worship earlier today, January 28, 2018, and our last song was, guess it… Yes, JESUS AT THE CENTER by Israel & New Breed.

I was able to think clearly after 2 large cups of coffee and a shot of alcohol and it made me realized something. Is Jesus at my center?

Part of the song says:

Nothing else matters,

nothing in this world will do.

Jesus You’re the center,

and everything revolves around you.

While writing this blog, I am playing in constant repetition the 2 versions of the song.

Jesus be the center of my life,

Jesus be the center of my life

From beginning to the end

It will always be,

It’s always been You Jesus

I know I’ve made a mistake of taking things and turn it into one big mess but, I guess the good thing about it is, me – questioning my own faith and where it’s foundation is laid. I started checking my heart and praying to God to correct my feelings. I asked one Pastor to pray for me because, at the end of the day, I know it is my pride that is hurting more than anything. I just hope I am not too late.

From my heart to heavens

Jesus be the center,

It’s all about You,

Yes it’s all about You

I asked God for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me a servant’s heart. I asked God for help.

Jesus, be the center of my everything.

Age and Leadership

Is age a criteria for leading a team? Do I have to question someone just because of his or her age? I don’t think so. But, if someone higher than you makes it seem that you’re no longer qualified because of your age, then there is a problem.

I have had a history with leaders who looks at me and thinks they’re better than me. Good leaders don’t think their people isn’t qualified just because of age. But heck, do I have to care? I will just lay low, and quit the team.

All Day Crap.

  • 4:36 am. My wife woke me up at 4:36 am so I can prepare for work. I usually wake up at this time to prepare for work and leave at around 5:30 or so.
  • At times, I should be at South Luzon Expressway when the clock hits 6am.
  • I usually arrive Pasay Road not later than 7:30am.
  • Around 7:40 to 8am, I should be riding the UV Express going to One Campus where I work for the biggest search engine in the world.

But today on January 17, 2018, something happened that me and my wave mates never expected to happen all of a sudden. Our schedule changed. Since Monday this week, we have been scheduled at 9am to 6pm. I know it is a 9 hour shift and it is fine with us. And to think that I also am enduring a painful sore on my left feet which gives me pain from my feet up. That gives me hard time walking around. Now, schedule changes for me is okay. I have been working in call centers before and it’s fine by me.

BUT this time, this one, is totally different. This schedule took effect TODAY, January 17, 2018. While I was on my way to work! Riding a bus! At 5:40am! 

So I arrived in Makati City at around 7am, rode a UV Express van to One Campus and was at the office around 8am. Of course I was irritated and furious. I could have slept some more, take my daughter to school while my wife rests, spent some time with my kids, etc. BUT NO! Now I will have to stay here at the office until 10pm and probably be at home by 12mn.


Sorry, I am still so frustrated about this. I really need to work on my own business so I won’t be played by some thug who thinks that it’s okay to just say “sorry” to people who wakes up at 3am just to be in the office by 9am. I did not even receive a phone call from the people who should have made the contact. In fact, the person who called me was a wave mate who is already on her way to go back to their house.

I am still irritated. Frustrated.

Geez. I just hope that this won’t happen again next time. For real.


Sana Maulit Muli

Sana maulit muli
Ang mga oras nating nakaraan
Bakit nagkaganito
Naglaho na ba ang pag-ibig mo
Sana maulit muli
Sana bigyan ng pansin ang himig ko
Kahapon, bukas, ngayon
Tanging wala nang ibang mahal

Two years ago, a fandom was born. It was weird because I got caught in it. I enjoyed it too. I loved the chemistry being demonstrated by two characters that played it well. So well that I am one of those hurting. Two years.

Then last November 26, 2017 the Open Letter happened. I understand what she was trying to say. But with all the presumptions that her fans will hate her, only added fuel to the fire. A lot of the fans got hurt. Felt the pain. Alden was nowhere to be seen. The following day, Alden got hospitalized. The fandom was in turmoil over a simple letter of That Girl. I myself felt that strong shockwave of disbelief. I felt that they lied to me. Made me feel emotions that I have longed forgotten. I HATE IT!

Then I realized… they were just actors playing their parts.

Days have passed and there were members of the ALDUB Nation who were suffering more pain and betrayal. AND peeps helped each other to recover, to stop the bleeding, to make them stand up again. There we also people who have expressed wanting to commit suicide. Some of us had to intervene.

Ibalik ang kahapon
Sandaling di mapapantayan
Huwag sana nating itapon
Pagmamahal na tapat
Kung ako’y nagkamali minsan
Di na ba mapagbibigyan
O giliw, dinggin mo ang nais ko

More days have passed. Slowly, hate turned into bitterness. I looked more into what I can do to help the other members of the ADN. Reaching out to those hurting. Trying to console people who were trying to make sense of what happened.

Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
Di na sana aasa pa…
Kung kaya kong umiwas na
Di na sana lalapit pa…
Kung kaya ko sana

In the end, we are just fans taken to a ride by two people who we thought are real. But ADN only have ADN now. Like one of the people said, “This too, shall pass.”

Mahal pa rin kita…
O giliw… O giliw…